Aesthetic Realism Foundation

Learn

Understanding Marriage!

Taught by There Are Wives: Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, & Others

Through studying the opposites of contempt and respect in the history of marriage and in their own lives including yesterday’s incident at the breakfast table — wives learn how to use marriage and a husband to like the world. There is class discussion of such subjects as:

  • Real Trust in Marriage—How Can We Have It?
  • Is Understanding Your Husband Exciting?
  • How Can a Wife Feel Proud about Sex?
  • First Cupid, Then Quarrels—What’s the Cause?

2nd Saturday of each month, 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM Eastern Time (USA)

Note: For now, this class is being given as a semester course, four classes per semester.

Fall 2021 semester now in session.

FALL 2021

  • Sep 11: How Can a Wife Make Sense of Severity & Sweetness in Herself?

Trying to be tough and trying to be kind is something every married person has to do….All marriages that have gone wrong, have gone wrong because the toughness and the kindness that the individuals in the marriage had to go for, were used against each other….We are all of us tougher than we know….And we are all of us, also, trying to be kind and not feel we are taken in. Life presents us the aesthetic job of being tough and kind at once, and in marriage, that job is made more intense, more insistent.

—Eli Siegel, from The Furious Aesthetics of Marriage

  • Oct 9: The Purpose of Marriage: Shelter from, or Increased Care for, the World?

The mistake, or the thing lacking in marriage,…is: most marriage has not made the world friendlier for the two people. And they seek each other sometimes in desperation. They also can avoid each other in desperation….Nevertheless, there is a hope that the world is friendly. And most persons, through their marriage, get “proof” that the world is not. Two people should ask how much fear they have lessened, if any, in each other….Do two people make the world seem friendlier? Or do they, in their need for each other, make the world seem more unfriendly?…The motto of all love can be said to be: I have to find the world friendly through you.

—Eli Siegel, from The Right of Aesthetic Realism to Be Known, #1919

  • Nov 13: Disagreement in Marriage: When Is It Useful, Kind, Even Beautiful?

Marriage has been one of the most fruitful sources of acute and sometimes chronic disagreement. Disagreements range all the way from who should have the first egg at the breakfast table to how should this subtle philosophic point be interpreted. If it exists, you can disagree about it….Deeply, we are in disagreement with any person who doesn’t want to know us as we are….Anytime anybody disagrees with anything for a good reason, he or she is fighting for all humanity.

–Eli Siegel, from Mind and Disagreement

  • Dec 11: Longed For in Marriage: The Oneness of Encouragement & Criticism

Aesthetic Realism sees good will as the aesthetic oneness of encouragement and criticism….One of the reasons many married people can’t talk to each other is that these two motives, wanting to be critical and also wanting to be sympathetic or considerate, cannot be managed right: if you’re considerate you are not critical, and if you’re critical you’re not considerate. But in the nature of things there is no reason why one can’t be both considerate and critical….The problem of being both compassionate and critical, of being both severe and feathery, is an aesthetic problem, a problem that, if solved, will always be like art.

—Eli Siegel, from The Right of Aesthetic Realism to Be Known #195 and #770

To audit:

  • Permission must be requested by telephone at least 2 days in advance of the date of the class.
  • Contact Registrar at 212.777.5055, between 2-6 PM Eastern Time (USA), Monday through Friday.
  • Once you receive permission to audit a class, click on the “AUDIT” button to pay the fee.

Fee: $40 per semester (4 classes)

Auditing fee: $12

FACULTY BIOS: Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman

Women say–

Claudia Senatore

“I had a lot of confusion and trouble in love. This class changed the direction of my life and taught me how to be successful caring for a man. I learned that a man is related to the whole world! I’m proud and grateful to be married to my dear husband and to be celebrating our 11th anniversary.” —Claudia Senatore, Nurse Practitioner

Monique Michael“I learned what true love is and it has made me feel integrated as a wife, teacher, daughter, and friend. I now really talk to my husband–and am really able to listen. Our conversations are now exciting! Not only do I love my husband more, but I care more for other people and the world itself. This class makes love possible and permanent.” —Monique Michael, Teacher

Lori Colavito“After a failed marriage, I was able to learn about the mistakes I made in love. As a result, when my second husband and I exchanged marriage vows, it was one of the proudest days of my life because I knew I was getting married for the right reason! Six years later, our marriage is flourishing.” —Lori Colavito, Teacher

You can read these news articles:

1. “Learn How Marriage Can Succeed in a Failed Economy“
2. “How Should a Widow Cope with the Loss of Her Spouse?“