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How to Study

Understanding Marriage!

Taught by Aesthetic Realism consultants Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, & Devorah Tarrow

Through studying the opposites of contempt and respect in the history of marriage and in their own lives including yesterday’s incident at the breakfast table — wives learn how to use marriage and a husband to like the world. There is class discussion of such subjects as:

  • Real Trust in Marriage—How Can We Have It?
  • Is Understanding Your Husband Exciting?
  • How Can a Wife Feel Proud about Sex?
  • First Cupid, Then Quarrels—What’s the Cause?

2nd Saturday of each month, 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM Eastern Time (USA)

Classes via video conference are now in session.

WINTER 2023

  • Jan 14   The Confusion in Marriage about Affecting and Being Affected

“To live is to master and to yield—this was said in Victorian times. People have a tremendous difficulty about that because they would like to manage and tell things what to do. The desire to yield, which goes along with being respectful, is not so popular.

“The thing, then, to see is whether by the very nature of existence or your life, you’re trying to make a one of being affected and affecting. There are two kinds of power. There is the power of affecting. But also, there is the power of receptivity, of getting impressions.

“A sensible person is one who sees beauty both in impression and expression, which is the same as being affected and affecting. Certain painters are called impressionists and certain painters are called expressionists; both can be good.”

—Eli Siegel, from an Aesthetic Realism Lesson

  • Feb 11   Jealousy: What It Really Comes from & What Can Take Its Place

“To love a person is to wish to please that person; but one sees oneself as cooperating with the whole world to please—not as being in competition with it…. In the love that is accurate, jealousy is not possible….In every instance, despite the sultry, seemingly noble literature written around jealousy, the thing itself, no matter how frequent, is a bourgeois state of mind, a possessive state of mind in which self-love truculently and imposingly stalks and maneuvers as love for an object.”

—Eli Siegel, “Love and Reality,” Self and World

  • Mar 11   What Does It Mean to Have Good Will for the Person We Marry?

“Right now, many homes in America are seats of dissension, worry because good will is seen as an insincere yielding. Good will as it truly is, is kindness, surely; but it is also criticism.  One definition of good will is the oneness of kindness and criticism in a person’s mind.

“One cannot be just to an individual unless the desire to be just to the world or all that is not ourselves is a true thing, a strong thing, a constant thing….

“If the idea of having good will does not bring to one the high points of all the good orchestras of the world, and all the subtleties that scientists have come to, the good will is not complete.”

—Eli Siegel, The Right of Aesthetic Realism to Be Known, no. 71

  • Apr 8   Silences & Conversations in Marriage: How Can We Make Sense of These?

“People can live together for years and really not transmit what they feel to each other. The fields that are not subjects of communication between the ordinary couple are tremendous. All the things that haven’t been said and could have been said, if brought together, would dazzle people with their revelatory quality and their beauty, maybe—also their surprisingness. Communication is the way a person makes his or her thoughts part of another person’s life, or thoughts. You have to respect and like what you express yourself to before the job of communication can have a fair chance.”

—Eli Siegel, from Aesthetic Realism Looks at Things: Communication

 

Want to audit a class?

  • Contact the registrar at 212.777.5055, between 2-6 PM Eastern Time (USA), Monday through Friday.
  • Be sure to make your request at least 2 days in advance of the class.
  • Once you receive permission to audit a class, click on the “AUDIT” button to pay the fee.

Fee: $40 per semester (4 classes)

Auditing fee: $12

FACULTY BIOS:
Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, Devorah Tarrow

Women say–

Claudia Senatore

“I had a lot of confusion and trouble in love. This class changed the direction of my life and taught me how to be successful caring for a man. I learned that a man is related to the whole world! I’m proud and grateful to be married to my dear husband and to be celebrating our 11th anniversary.” —Claudia Senatore, Nurse Practitioner

Monique Michael“I learned what true love is and it has made me feel integrated as a wife, teacher, daughter, and friend. I now really talk to my husband–and am really able to listen. Our conversations are now exciting! Not only do I love my husband more, but I care more for other people and the world itself. This class makes love possible and permanent.” —Monique Michael, Teacher

Lori Colavito“After a failed marriage, I was able to learn about the mistakes I made in love. As a result, when my second husband and I exchanged marriage vows, it was one of the proudest days of my life because I knew I was getting married for the right reason! Six years later, our marriage is flourishing.” —Lori Colavito, Teacher

You can read these news articles:

1. “Learn How Marriage Can Succeed in a Failed Economy“
2. “How Should a Widow Cope with the Loss of Her Spouse?“

Film by Ken Kimmelman

Here we present a work of art that—more than any other we know—can bring people the true composure and strength of mind and feeling everyone is thirsting for. See the stirring film of Eli Siegel’s prize-winning poem Hot Afternoons Have Been in Montana.

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Most Viewed Posts

  • The Philosophy of Depression
  • “Alexander Calder: Art Answers the Questions of Our Lives”
  • “Is Beauty the Making One of Opposites?”
  • “Books”—an Essay for Children
  • “A Good Husband: What Does That Mean?”
  • “Hawthorne’s ‘The Man of Adamant’”
  • “Man and Nature in New York and Kansas”
  • “Ocean, Mr., Mrs. Blink”
  • “The Beauty of Art & the Pain about Love”
  • History—Defined
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    Aesthetic Realism
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      • The Aesthetic Realism Explanation of Poetry
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      • The Aesthetic Realism Teaching Method
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      • Understanding Marriage!
    • Consultations
      • What Happens in an Aesthetic Realism Consultation?
      • Aesthetic Realism Consultation of Nancy Huntting
      • Coldness, Warmth, & Mistakes by Jaime Torres, DPM
      • What Kind of Effect on Men? by Lauren Phillips
      • My Aesthetic Realism Consultations by Richita Anderson
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      • Aesthetic Realism and Love, Introduction
      • Aesthetic Realism and Love, Part 1
      • Aesthetic Realism and Love, Part 2
      • Aesthetic Realism and Expression, Introduction by Ellen Reiss
      • Aesthetic Realism and Expression, Part 1
      • Aesthetic Realism and Expression, Part 2
      • Aesthetic Realism and Hope
      • Aesthetic Realism and Hope, Part 2
      • The Drama of Mind, Introduction
      • The Drama of Mind, Part 1
      • The Drama of Mind, Part 2
      • Aesthetic Realism and Learning, Introduction
      • Aesthetic Realism and Learning, Part 1
      • Aesthetic Realism and Learning, Part 2
      • Aesthetic Realism and Learning, Part 3
      • Map to Happiness, by Eli Siegel
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Aesthetic Realism Foundation    141 Greene Street   New York, NY 10012   212.777.4490

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To Contribute | Contact | En Español

Aesthetic Realism Foundation
141 Greene Street
New York, NY 10012
212.777.4490

Privacy Policy

Blog Comment Policy

Copyright © 1997–2023
Aesthetic Realism Foundation

MENU
  • Home
  • About
    • About Us
    • Mission Statement
    • What Is Aesthetic Realism?
    • Eli Siegel, Founder
    • Faculty
    • Some Background
  • Calendar
  • How to Study
    Aesthetic Realism
    • Classes
    • Consultations
    • Workshops for Educators
    • Outreach
  • Events
    • Public Seminars
    • Theatrical & Musical Matinees
    • Saturday Night Presentations
    • Directions
  • Periodical
  • Library
    • Online Library
    • Films & Videos
    • Blog
    • Lectures
    • News Archive
    • Related Resources
  • Book Store
  • Visual & Dramatic Arts
    • Terrain Gallery
    • Aesthetic Realism Theatre Company
  • En Español
    • Subscribe
    • Contact
    • Directions
    • To Contribute
    • flat_facebook