Aesthetic Realism Foundation

How to Study

Understanding Marriage!

Taught by Aesthetic Realism consultants Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, & Devorah Tarrow

Through studying the opposites of contempt and respect in the history of marriage and in their own lives including yesterday’s incident at the breakfast table — wives learn how to use marriage and a husband to like the world. There is class discussion of such subjects as:

  • Real Trust in Marriage—How Can We Have It?
  • Is Understanding Your Husband Exciting?
  • How Can a Wife Feel Proud about Sex?
  • First Cupid, Then Quarrels—What’s the Cause?

2nd Saturday of each month, 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM Eastern Time (USA)

Note: For now, this class is being given as a semester course, four classes per semester.

Classes via Zoom video conference are now in session.

FALL 2022

  • Sep 10: Can a Wife Be Sensible about Praise?

There are many women who have been praised…and have felt, nevertheless, that something not so good was being encouraged in them or evoked from them. The Aesthetic Realism viewpoint is that if anything is flattering to yourself and doesn’t make the whole world look better in your eyes, that which is flattery is only flattery—it’s not useful praise. We all of us want praise of ourselves; and the need to look into the nature of the praise can be not so welcome. But once we are not critical of why we’re praised, there can be a letdown that is too great. The most important thing about praise of yourself is that you should be able to believe it and be proud that you believe it.

—Eli Siegel, from “The Trouble about Praise”

  • Oct 8: The Trouble about Closeness & Remoteness in Marriage—& the Aesthetic Answer 

The large inward catastrophe of today is: We let ourselves be pleased by and do what we can to please a person we still want to hide from, we still do not fully respect. The one way we can fully respect a person is to feel that that person deserves wholly to know us and it would be good for us to know that person….To know a person is to know the universe become throbbingly specific. It is always the universe on two feet, with two eyes, and an articulate mouth. It is the universe we want to skip.

—Eli Siegel, from Preface to “The Ordinary Doom”

  • Nov 12: Disappointment—Does a Wife Get Anything Out of It?

Disappointment can be defined as a state in which we feel that what we were looking for was not had….The first thing necessary to avoid disappointment is to ask if we’re not going after it….Many people don’t want to be pleased by anything; on the one hand, they complain that they are disappointed, and on the other, to be disappointed is their triumph. We can arrange our disappointment. We can insist on it.

Since the source of all hope is the outside world, if we are going to get what we hope for, it is going to be from reality. But if we don’t like what we want things from, that much we spoil our chances for getting them and for enjoying them.

—Eli Siegel from Mind and Disappointment

  • Dec 10: What Big Mistake Do Couples Make about Other People?

To dismiss the rest of the human race and say, “I’m going to love Marie” or “I’m going to love Montgomery”—that can never be. The purpose of loving one person is to love people and things in general. What happens most often is that through loving one person, we get to be less interested in people. We have a notion that since we’ve caged a person, our job of understanding other persons is over. And so the function of love—which is the understanding of people and reality as a whole through the close, musical, complete seeing of one person—is not kept to….Love for a person cannot be dissociated from love for people in general.

—Eli Siegel, from Aesthetic Realism and People

 

Want to audit a class?

  • Contact the registrar at 212.777.5055, between 2-6 PM Eastern Time (USA), Monday through Friday.
  • Be sure to make your request at least 2 days in advance of the class.
  • Once you receive permission to audit a class, click on the “AUDIT” button to pay the fee.

Fee: $40 per semester (4 classes)

Auditing fee: $12

FACULTY BIOS:
Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, Devorah Tarrow

Women say–

Claudia Senatore

“I had a lot of confusion and trouble in love. This class changed the direction of my life and taught me how to be successful caring for a man. I learned that a man is related to the whole world! I’m proud and grateful to be married to my dear husband and to be celebrating our 11th anniversary.” —Claudia Senatore, Nurse Practitioner

Monique Michael“I learned what true love is and it has made me feel integrated as a wife, teacher, daughter, and friend. I now really talk to my husband–and am really able to listen. Our conversations are now exciting! Not only do I love my husband more, but I care more for other people and the world itself. This class makes love possible and permanent.” —Monique Michael, Teacher

Lori Colavito“After a failed marriage, I was able to learn about the mistakes I made in love. As a result, when my second husband and I exchanged marriage vows, it was one of the proudest days of my life because I knew I was getting married for the right reason! Six years later, our marriage is flourishing.” —Lori Colavito, Teacher

You can read these news articles:

1. “Learn How Marriage Can Succeed in a Failed Economy“
2. “How Should a Widow Cope with the Loss of Her Spouse?“

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