Aesthetic Realism Foundation

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Understanding Marriage!

Taught by Aesthetic Realism consultants Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, & Devorah Tarrow

Through studying the opposites of contempt and respect in the history of marriage and in their own lives including yesterday’s incident at the breakfast table — wives learn how to use marriage and a husband to like the world. There is class discussion of such subjects as:

  • Real Trust in Marriage—How Can We Have It?
  • Is Understanding Your Husband Exciting?
  • How Can a Wife Feel Proud about Sex?
  • First Cupid, Then Quarrels—What’s the Cause?

2nd Saturday of each month, 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM Eastern Time (USA)

Note: For now, this class is being given as a semester course, four classes per semester.

Classes via Zoom video conference are now in session.

SPRING-SUMMER 2022

  • May 14: True Attention in Marriage—What Is It?

We have, it seems, some difficulty about attention.…Attention is a kind of love. Its purpose is to see a thing as it is, wholly as it is, cheerfully as it is, courageously as it is, and not let what it is be interfered with by ourselves.…Love, if it’s the true thing, makes one more attentive than one ever was before—that is, more desirous of seeing a thing as it truly is.

—Eli Siegel, from Mind and Attention

  • Jun 11: The Unseen Battle in Every Wife—To Like or Be Displeased    

When a woman consents to marry, she hopes to like this person she’ll marry. At the same time, she feels she can like her spouse without the desire to like as such. There is a big desire in people not to be pleased with what is not themselves. Does one have to be grateful that reality exists, and particular things in it, in order to have a successful marriage?

—Eli Siegel, from
The Right of Aesthetic Realism to Be Known, No. 859

  • Jul 9: What Is Real Encouragement in Marriage?

The chief difficulty in marriage is that people think the other person worries about them, and will even stick up for them when they’re attacked, but will not encourage them directly….Encouragement would mean that a desire of yours is that a person, that people, get to what represents them, what they rightly hope for, and that they respect themselves. You see them from their point of view, and feel it’s good for you to see a person’s purpose…. Aesthetic Realism says if you don’t encourage a person, you can’t think well of yourself.  This is what I call the ethical imperative.

—Eli Siegel from an Aesthetic Realism Lesson

  • Aug 13: Classic Conflicts in Marriage, & the Answer in Art!

A situation, having to do with ethics, which very often occurs in married life [is]: One person wants to do A and the other wants to do B. This makes for a great deal of trouble….It has the aesthetic problem with it: how can you please yourself and do what you want to do, and please another. That is a sameness and difference problem, which makes it an aesthetic problem. We have a desire to please another; we have a desire to please ourselves; we also have a desire to displease another.

Very often a person, having made up one’s mind about something, has to change it in a hurry. And a person is very awkward then, because there isn’t enough flexibility. It is like blending colors: if you go from one color to another too crudely, you can’t have a true blending.

—Eli Siegel, from Aesthetics Meets Love

 

Want to audit a class?

  • Contact the registrar at 212.777.5055, between 2-6 PM Eastern Time (USA), Monday through Friday.
  • Be sure to make your request at least 2 days in advance of the class.
  • Once you receive permission to audit a class, click on the “AUDIT” button to pay the fee.

Fee: $40 per semester (4 classes)

Auditing fee: $12

FACULTY BIOS:
Barbara Allen, Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, Devorah Tarrow

Women say–

Claudia Senatore

“I had a lot of confusion and trouble in love. This class changed the direction of my life and taught me how to be successful caring for a man. I learned that a man is related to the whole world! I’m proud and grateful to be married to my dear husband and to be celebrating our 11th anniversary.” —Claudia Senatore, Nurse Practitioner

Monique Michael“I learned what true love is and it has made me feel integrated as a wife, teacher, daughter, and friend. I now really talk to my husband–and am really able to listen. Our conversations are now exciting! Not only do I love my husband more, but I care more for other people and the world itself. This class makes love possible and permanent.” —Monique Michael, Teacher

Lori Colavito“After a failed marriage, I was able to learn about the mistakes I made in love. As a result, when my second husband and I exchanged marriage vows, it was one of the proudest days of my life because I knew I was getting married for the right reason! Six years later, our marriage is flourishing.” —Lori Colavito, Teacher

You can read these news articles:

1. “Learn How Marriage Can Succeed in a Failed Economy“
2. “How Should a Widow Cope with the Loss of Her Spouse?“

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