Devorah Tarrow, Aesthetic Realism consultant, writes:

“The Mix-up in Every Wife about Selfishness & Generosity—& the Aesthetic Answer!” will be the subject of the Understanding Marriage! class on Saturday, Dec. 8th. The class is from 11:00 AM-12:30 PM, and is open to all women.

Selfishness and generosity is a huge matter in married life. For instance, though she marries wanting to be “giving,” many a wife feels she’s neglecting herself and should focus on just herself. Yet, going after that, she can feel she’s ungenerous, unkind. And there is the wife who seems utterly devoted, even “sacrificial”: her way of “giving” is really another form of selfishness, because she’s delighting in feeling superior to the spouse whom she sees as floundering and needing her desperately. Is there an honest, beautiful solution? Yes!

This exciting class is taught by Aesthetic Realism consultants Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman. Discussion will focus on the following great sentences by Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism–from his landmark lecture The Furious Aesthetics of Marriage:

“We are interested in another, we want to please that person. There is a desire to fetch unknown cups of water for unknown thirsts….[But] two married people find out very soon that with all the devotion, the selves uttering the devotion seem to be interested in themselves. No matter how many errands have been run, how many kind words have been said, self is still there, doing business in behalf of the central firm….There is an aesthetic mix-up, which means there is bad aesthetics, in the business of being oneself and another self, too, which marriage insists on.”

Women will be educated and get new hope learning that the mix-up about selfishness and generosity is solved in art: the artist expresses her- or himself—asserts who she or he truly is—by trying to be fair to objects and people. The artist’s purpose, Aesthetic Realism explains, is everyone’s largest purpose in life: to take care of ourselves in a big-time way by valuing, seeing meaning in, the world and people, including the person we are close to. Women are going to have a thrilling time as they learn about the importance of aesthetics to their lives and marriages!

The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.