Devorah Tarrow, Aesthetic Realism consultant, writes:
All over America, spouses are complaining to each other, “You’re not paying attention to what I’m saying!” And they feel, “You aren’t attentive to me the way you once were!” Couples haven’t understood what causes attention to be scanty, or how to remedy the situation, or what attention actually is. “Real Attention in Marriage—What Is It?” will be the subject of the Understanding Marriage! class on Saturday, March 9th from 11:00 AM-12:30 PM. This event is open to all women.
The class is conducted by the teaching trio There Are Wives: Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman. It’s based on the following principles stated by Eli Siegel, the founder of Aesthetic Realism: “The purpose of marriage is to like the world. The reason happiness in marriage is such a rare item is that people have tried to love in a way that would mean less of a like for the world—in fact, a contempt for it.”
There will be exciting discussion of these sentences from Mr. Siegel’s lecture Mind and Attention:
The complaint of most women after a few years of marriage is that the attentions a person was so happy in giving years ago are no longer given….The purpose of attention is to know a thing thoroughly. The purpose of getting attention is to be known thoroughly. But we’re afraid of that. I’d say most wives have got thousands of “attentions” but have never got any attention—because attention is knowledge in a straight line, and that is hard to give. Further, the wives haven’t given it. To give attention would mean to have yourself go toward something for the purpose of seeing it wholly as it is.
In this class, women will be learning what in a person—including oneself—is against giving authentic attention. They’ll be seeing how thrilling it is to want fully to know the person they’re close to, and how Aesthetic Realism shows a person is a means of knowing the whole world. When a wife wants really to know the world and her spouse, and to be known herself—deep, fresh, real attention can come to be in her marriage!
The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.