Devorah Tarrow, Aesthetic Realism consultant, writes:

“Kindness in Marriage—What Does It Really Mean?” This is a matter affecting every wife, and the deep and exciting answer will be presented at the Understanding Marriage! class, on Saturday morning, December 9th, 11:00 AM-12:30 PM. The class is open to all women.

Women have wanted to be kind, but a woman has also felt that in being kind she’s somehow been sacrificial. Is kindness much bigger than women have imagined? Does it mean careful thought, even criticism? And when we’re truly kind are we really taking care of ourselves? Yes!

At this eminently practical event, taught by consultants Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and Meryl Nietsch-Cooperman, women will learn what can make married life honestly kind—and have a woman feel she is expressing her own deepest self: “The purpose of marriage is to like the world,” explained Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism. “The reason happiness in marriage is such a rare item is that people have tried to love in a way that would mean less of a like for the world—in fact, a contempt for it.”

There’s going to be enlivening, insightful discussion of these important sentences by Mr. Siegel, from his lecture Mind and Kindness:

One way the large problem can be put is this: how to be kind without limit and at the same time take care of oneself without limit. The idea is always to feel that in being nice to something, you are nice to yourself. If in being nice to something you are not being nice to yourself, you are sacrificial. The only kindness, as Aesthetic Realism sees it, that exists is the desire for the other person to be more complete, stronger, more himself.

Through vivid individual and cultural instances, the teachers will illustrate what it means “to be kind without limit and at the same time take care of oneself without limit.” New romance and happiness come to be in a marriage through this vital education!

The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.