Such words as “You’re the only one I need” and “Forget everyone else—when I’m with you no one else matters,” are considered the height of romance, the epitome of love! Yet why do many wives and husbands—who have uttered these words of “affection”—worry that they’re increasingly distant, resentful, bored?
To the great good of marriages, the Saturday, August 10th, Understanding Marriage! class will address with refreshing clearness: “What Big Mistake Do Couples Make about Other People?”
This event, from 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM, is taught by consultants Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and myself, Pauline Meglino, and is based on the following explanation by Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism: “The purpose of marriage is to like the world. The reason happiness in marriage is such a rare item is that people have tried to love in a way that would mean less of a like for the world—in fact, a contempt for it.”
There’s going to be lively, practical discussion of these sentences from Mr. Siegel’s groundbreaking lecture Aesthetic Realism and People:
To dismiss the rest of the human race and say, “I’m going to love Marie” or “I’m going to love Montgomery”—that can never be. The purpose of loving one person is to love people and things in general. What happens most often is that through loving one person, we get to be less interested in people. We have a notion that since we’ve caged a person, our job of understanding other persons is over. And so the function of love—which is the understanding of people and reality as a whole through the close, musical, complete seeing of one person—is not kept to….Love for a person cannot be dissociated from love for people in general.
Each woman present will have an educational, deep, good time understanding that the big mistake about other people which wives and husbands make is to use each other “to be less interested in people”—to be in a consoling, superior team against them. And, crucially, she’ll be learning that real love is to use caring for a husband to see meaning in all other people, and to use other people to see him better. This is the purpose of marriage itself, which, Aesthetic Realism shows, is to encourage each other’s honest valuing of the world and people by wanting to know and be fair to them. This is marriage-saving knowledge, and nowhere else can women learn it!
This class will take place at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, a not-for-profit educational foundation located at 141 Greene Street, off W. Houston St., in SoHo. The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.