The Desire to Like the World—Including in Love
Consultation of Nancy Huntting—Part 3
Consultants. What do you think, if you have one, is your deepest desire?
Huntting. To learn.
Consultants. Aesthetic Realism says the deepest desire of every person is to like the world. Do you think that’s true?
Huntting. I think it’s a big desire in me.
Consultants. Do you know how large it is?
Huntting. Probably not.
Consultants. Do you think in pursuing a man that your purpose is to like the world?
Huntting. I don’t think it is.
Consultants. I disagree. Anytime a woman spots a man and says, This is for me–do you think through him she feels the world will be in such a way that she will like it? Do you think that in being interested in English literature your purpose is to like the world?
(NH doesn’t answer.)
Consultants. You indicated there might be some other desire that could be deeper. What’s the competition?
Huntting. I don’t know what my deepest desire is. To be happy.
Consultants. You said your deepest desire is to learn. Does that show a desire to have the world more of one?
Consultants. Do you think in some way you have used a man against what you felt you saw in your family? Did you feel that what went on at home was so confusing, there was a tendency to go to that which could seem more comforting? If we find something of reality that really looks good to us, we can decide that’s what we want to like and tell all the rest of the suffering world, Go your way. But according to Aesthetic Realism, we can’t like ourselves on that basis because it is too narrow, it doesn’t include enough. Would you like to make some relation between your desire to be close to a man and your family?
(NH doesn’t answer.)
Consultants. Do you think it’s a relevant question?
Huntting. I’m not sure how I can relate the two.
Consultants. What is it you are most worried about as to this man you are concerned with?
Huntting. I’m most worried about my relation to him because I feel he has a capacity for growing and learning and changing that’s greater than mine. I’m afraid that we are going to grow apart.
Consultants. What is his interest?
Huntting. He’s an architect. He’s a very active person.
Consultants. What’s your biggest criticism of him?
Huntting. That he’s selfish, but I’m not so sure that’s fair all the time.
Consultants. You can say that pretty fairly about any person. What’s his biggest criticism of you?
Consultants. Could he have the same awful criticism of you you have of him?
Huntting. I don’t think he sees me as selfish.
Consultants. Do you act like he’s the biggest thing in your life? Does he believe it?
Huntting. He doesn’t like it so much; he thinks it’s a burden. He would like me to be more involved in other things.
Consultants. What do you think he really thinks?
Huntting. I think in some ways it makes him happy that I depend on him.
Consultants. Is the dependence honest?
Huntting. In what way?
Consultants. You said your mother stayed at home and took care of your brother—did you feel her kind of total devotion was just as it should be? Do you think her interest in other things could have been more?
Huntting. Yes. I think she used it as an excuse.
Consultants. Did you feel there was some reason for that devotion which wasn’t wholly about him? Was there some need in her that came from something else? Do you think Mr. Cameron feels as you are devoted to him, he is such as he deserves that devotion? Does he feel there’s some need in you that doesn’t have too much to do with him? Is he suspicious?
Consultants. Is there some justification?
Consultants. Do you think if you liked the world more your care for a person would be more proportionate?
Consultants. As Mr. Cameron feels you like him very much do you think he feels what you felt about your father, that you don’t really know him? Could that make a man question in some way?
To return to Consultations homepage, click here.