In marrying a man, a woman affirms in a big way that she needs him. Yet many a wife has had trouble with the idea that she does indeed need anyone other than herself. (And men have had a similar discomfort.) A woman can feel that to need her husband means denying her own individuality, surrendering her autonomy.
This confusion can stop now. “The Mix-Up in Marriage about Need & Independence–& the Practical Answer!” is the title of the Understanding Marriage! class of Saturday, October 5th, from 11 AM to 12:30 PM, conducted by consultants Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and myself, Pauline Meglino. With cultural instances and lively discussion, we will show what Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism, explained, to the great benefit of women and men:“Marriage is a means for liking the world through a person. Too often, though, marriage is a contemptuous exclusion of the world.”
These tremendously kind, clarifying sentences from an Aesthetic Realism lesson, which was conducted by Mr. Siegel, will be discussed:
Love has been called a proud need by Aesthetic Realism. Every person would like to be secret, sequestered, alone, do things for oneself—and every person wants to be loved without limit. It can make for great trouble. When we’re involved with a person and we’re not proud that we need that person, there has to be anger. There’s a certain pleasure which we have in showing we don’t need anybody. Aesthetic Realism says good sense is the needing more and the being proud of it.
As a woman learns in this important class what it means really to know her husband and through him to care more passionately and truly for people and things, she comes to need him for a reason she can be proud of. She is also more independent, because through knowing her husband she is more truly herself and is kinder—and her marriage blooms!
The Aesthetic Realism Foundation, 141 Greene St., off West Houston St., in SoHo, is a not-for-profit educational foundation. The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.