“The Drama in Marriage about Secrecy & Being Known” is the subject of the Understanding Marriage! class on Saturday, June 13th, from 11 AM-12:30 PM. Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and I conduct this class, the basis of which is in the following statement by Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism: “Marriage is a means for liking the world through a person. Too often, though, marriage is a contemptuous exclusion of the world.”
On the one hand, women have felt men didn’t want to understand them, and that has often been true. But Aesthetic Realism asks this central, surprising question: Is there something a woman needs to see about a desire in her not to be known, but to keep herself hidden and apart—a desire that’s an aspect of contempt?
At the June 13th class, these sentences from Mr. Siegel’s groundbreaking lecture Aesthetic Realism and Love will be discussed:
A complaint of women all through the years is this: somehow the person they see themselves as being, is not the person their husband sees. They do not feel that they are being known. They cannot say this clearly; but they feel lonely. The husband also feels lonely—because two people have adored each other without being understood.
Yet, people think they can do more in being unknown and misunderstood, really, than in being known.
Suppose Madeleine says, “Rupert represents the outside world. In marrying him, I want to show myself to him more each week. There is no limit to being known. There is no limit to how much I can like the world through being honest, excitingly honest, with Rupert.” Then Madeleine wouldn’t get into that discontented, sour state that the Madeleines of America do get into.
At this cultural, practical event, open to all women, the discussions will be fresh, enlivening, deeply instructive, and marriage-renewing!