A wife can feel a big difference between what engages her outside her home—such as education, work, perhaps political activities, friends—and being in the living room or bedroom with her husband, preparing a meal, even doing the laundry. Very often, she can feel home is cozier than the confusing world outside. But she has also felt burdened, “claustrophobic,” resentful there, and not known why.
“Domesticity & the Wide World Outside—Can a Wife Be Fair to Both?” is the topic the Understanding Marriage! class will address with exciting clarity on Saturday, January 11th, from 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM.
This important event, conducted by consultants Barbara Allen, Anne Fielding, and myself, Pauline Meglino, will take up the following sentences from the landmark lecture Aesthetic Realism and Love, by Eli Siegel, founder of Aesthetic Realism:
Love is most often seen as a kind of compact security. It is not seen, as it should be, as an agreement to know….Most women who are interested in their minds nevertheless think that being with their husbands is a time to be contracted and limited. When they are away from their husbands they can expand.…. Where love does not mean the knowing and love for other things too, Aesthetic Realism definitely says it’s a fake. A love for a person is a love for persons, a love for humanity, a love for reality.”
The class will show: it isn’t marriage per se that causes a wife to “be contracted and limited” when at home with her husband; but rather, it is a wife and husband’s desire to use married life as “a contemptuous exclusion of the world.” And women will be learning that yes! a wife can be fair to domesticity and everything else when her purpose with her husband is to care more for the world and other people. Aesthetic Realism shows this is the purpose of marriage and of life itself—honestly to like the world.
The Aesthetic Realism Foundation, 141 Greene St., off W. Houston St., in SoHo, is a not-for-profit educational foundation. The fee for the class is $10. For more information, call 212.777.4490.